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My friend Natalie can’t see the point in you. She says that all you do is burp, 1fart, 2dribble, grin inanely and emit a series of unintelligible noises. Admittedly she hasn’t seen you at your best, but I still think that’s a little harsh. The first time Natalie came to visit you were asleep on your back, gurgling little spit bubbles, a thin strand of 3drool running down your chin. Natalie just stared at you as if you were a creature from another planet. She made no secret of the fact that she wasn’t impressed. The second time she came to visit you crawled across the carpet towards her and vomited on her expensive new shoes. I tried to 4make light of it, explaining that it’s mainly just liquid and wipes off easily, but she really did look quite appalled. Natalie likes being a career woman, rushing between meetings in her power suit, clutching her Starbucks Coffee and her laptop. She’s never wanted a husband or a baby, but if she could see you on a good day, I’m sure she’d feel differently. If she could see the way you clap your hands and squeal with excitement when 5Scooby Doo comes on the telly then she’d find you just as adorable as I do. If I’m honest, I think you could have made a bit more of an effort when Natalie first visited our house. I know it was the morning after 6Spongey’s 7stag do, but I thought you could have at least lugged yourself into the bedroom instead of lying sprawled on the sofa in a curly 8wig, a pair of women’s shoes and a T shirt with a photo of Spongey’s bare bottom on the front. If you’d had some trousers on it might not have been so bad. Natalie and I were comfortable enough perched on the wooden chairs, but it was quite distracting to have you snoring over our conversation, and I think Natalie was a bit uncomfortable when you started mumbling and fiddling with yourself. When Natalie left, giving me a kiss on the cheek and a look of pity before rushing off for an appointment with her personal trainer, I removed your 9stilettos, covered you with a blanket and wiped the drool from your chin. Later, when you woke up screaming about a pain in your head which you assumed must be a brain 10haemorrhage, I gently explained that you had simply consumed an excessive amount of alcohol. I then sat by your side, holding your hand and stroking your forehead 11in a bid to reassure you. I’d secretly hoped that things would be better the next time Natalie came to visit. I assumed that when I told you she was coming for dinner you would come home from the pub before ten o’clock, but of course you bumped into Spongey down at the Queens Head and the two of you decided to celebrate the fact that you were wearing the same socks. I understand how important these things are to you, and I do appre ciate the fact that you phoned me from the pub six times with a string of terrible excuses, but could you not have come for the Chicken 12Chasseur I had prepared? Instead you fell through the front door three hours late, addressed Natalie as Bob, crawled towards her 13on all fours and then 14chucked up all over her feet. It wiped off just as I said it would, but I don’t think that made Natalie like you any better. 本文为全文原貌 未安装PDF浏览器用户请先安装 原版全文 Once Natalie had left―which she did at great pace―I cleared up the mess and sat you down at the kitchen table. You clutched my fingers tightly and tried to put one of them in your mouth, mistaking it for the 15digestive biscuit I offered you. I should have been furious, but when you grinned stupidly at me, your mouth surrounded by biscuit crumbs, my heart softened and I forgave you. At the end of the day, however badly you behave, you’re mine and I still love you. I can understand why Nathalie thinks you’re an idiot, but it’s easy for her to judge. She already has everything she ever desired. I never wanted the impressive job title, the 16sports car or the big 17flashy house. All I ever really wanted was to be a mother. You might not be the most sophisticated man in the world, but you have a good heart and all the other necessary parts to help me fulfil that dream. I know exactly why having a baby is so important to me: I want someone I can take care of. I find it incredible that another helpless human being could rely on me to look after them. Babies are so utterly incapable of looking after themselves, so dependent on others for their 18well being. From their failure to control their bodily functions to their inability to use their tiny undeveloped brains, they are so completely useless without someone to care for them. I want to be needed like that. 我的朋友娜塔莉看不出来你有什么特别之处。她说你除了打嗝、放屁、流口水、傻笑、发出连串莫名其妙的噪音之外，什么都不会。诚然，她没见过你状态最好的样子，不过我还是觉得她说的话有点刺耳。 娜塔莉第一次来，你仰卧着睡得正酣，嘴里吐着小泡泡，口水细细一条流到下巴来了。娜塔莉就那样盯着你看，好像你是外星生物似的。她对你没什么好印象，对此她毫无掩饰之意。 她第二次来，你在地毯上向她爬过去，还吐在了她那双昂贵的新鞋上。我想把大事化小，于是向她解释说那些不过是些液体，很容易就能擦干净，可是她看上去的确脸色都变了。 娜塔莉喜欢当一名职业女性，穿着她的职业套装，握着星巴克咖啡，拿着手提，奔走参加大小会议。她从没想过要结婚或生子，不过如果她能在某个好日子见到你，我确信她的想法会有改观的。如果她能看到史酷比出现在电视上，你拍着小手兴奋尖叫的样子，她就会和我一样觉得你其实很可爱。 说实话，我觉得娜塔莉第一次来的时候，你还可以多努力一把。我知道前一晚是给“绵球”搞的男生派对，不过我想你至少还是可以把自己拽进卧室里去，而不是四脚朝天地躺在沙发上，头戴卷曲假发，脚蹬女鞋，身穿正面印着“绵球”那光屁股照片的T恤。如果你穿了裤子，也许情况还没这么糟糕。娜塔莉和我坐在木椅子上还挺舒服的，可聊天的时候你在旁边不停地打呼噜，确实挺扰人的。你开始咕哝着动来动去的时候，我觉得娜塔莉显得不太自在。 娜塔莉离开时亲了亲我的脸，她要赶去见她的私人教练，走之前脸上还露出了一丝怜悯。我帮你脱掉了那双女式凉鞋，给你盖上毯子，还擦去了你下巴上的口水。后来你醒了，尖叫着说头痛，你觉得一定是脑出血了，我温柔地向你解释，你只不过是酒喝多了。接着我坐在你身旁，握着你的手，轻抚你的额头让你安心。 我偷偷地希望，下次娜塔莉再来，情况能有所改善。我以为当我告诉你她要过来吃午餐时，你会在10点前从酒吧回来，不过当然，你在皇后巷撞见了“绵球”，后来你们俩决定去庆祝一下，庆祝大家穿着一模一样的袜子。我明白这些事情对于你来说有多重要，而我也很感激你在酒吧打了六次电话给我，编了一大串蹩脚的谎话，可是你就不能回来只为吃我准备的法式香煎鸡肉佐猎人酱汁吗？可是你却在三个小时之后跌进了前门，把娜塔莉唤做鲍勃，四脚着地向她爬过去，并吐在了她的脚上。就像我说的那样，那些东西可以被擦洗掉，可是我不认为这样做会让娜塔莉更喜欢你。 等娜塔莉一离开――她是迈着大步走掉的――我就把那一团糟清理干净了，然后扶你在厨房的桌子前坐下。你紧紧抓住我的手指，想将其中一只塞进嘴里，因为你把它当成了我给你的消化饼干。我应该大发脾气，可是当你对着我傻笑时，你的嘴巴四周全是饼干屑，我的心就软了，原谅了你。最终，无论你表现得有多糟糕，你都是我的，而我依然爱你。 我能理解为什么娜塔莉认为你是个白痴，她可以很轻易作出这样的判断。她已经拥有自己想要的一切。我却从未想过要什么响亮的头衔、跑车或是大豪宅。我所真心想要的不过是做一名母亲。你也许不是这个世界上最成熟的人，但你有一颗善良的心，以及助我实现梦想所必需的一切。 我很清楚为什么生个孩子对于我来说如此重要――因为我想要有能让我照顾。有个无助的人依赖我照顾，这种感觉实在太棒了。婴儿完全无法照顾他们自己，完全仰仗他能幸福。他们既不能控制自身的肌体功能，也无法运用那尚未发育完全的大脑。没有了别人的照顾，他们就毫无用处。我就想这样被别人需要着。 本文为全文原貌 未安装PDF浏览器用户请先安装 原版全文