译你是否理解他人 富有同情心？

A reader wrote to me that he is frustrated with himself — he hasn’t been as compassionate to people as he’d like recently.

有位读者给我写信，说对自己感到失望——他最近没有像他希望的那样富有同情心了。

Lots of us experience this: we’re judgmental, quick to snap at people, getting frustrated with how other people act, judging people who have different beliefs than us.

我们很多人都有这种经历：总带着批判的眼光，厉声打断别人，对他人的反馈感到沮丧，批判那些与我们持不同信念的人。

The reader who wrote to me is actually aware of being judgmental — most of us don’t even realize when we’re doing it. We think we’re right to judge others, to be frustrated with them, to snap in anger.

写信这位读者意识到了这种批判——我们大多数人都没意识到我们是这样的。我们觉得自己有权评判他人，有权对他们感到沮丧，有权怒气冲冲。

This reader, in contrast, sees the less than friendly actions he takes and sees that they’re not aligned with the good person he wants to be, the compassionate person he is at heart. He sees the less friendly actions and wants to change them. That is worthy of celebration.

相反地，这位读者看到了自己不那么友好的行为，意识到了这行为与他想成为的一个好人相悖，也不匹配他内心的同情。他观察到了这种不友好的行为，想要改变。这值得庆祝。

In this primer, I’d like to talk about how to be more understanding, and then how to be mindfully compassionate on an everyday basis. Of course, I am as guilty of being judgmental and less than compassionate as anyone else, so I don’t want to convey the impression that I’m above anyone. I’m not!

我想浅谈一下如何更富有理解力，如何每天都怀有谨慎的同情心。当然，我和你们一样，也会批判别人，缺乏同情心，所以我并非想显得高人一等。因为我没有！

That said, I think this is important: when we are judgmental, it hurts our relationships with others, and makes us frustrated and unhappy. We can dissolve all of that, and be happier and more loving with other people and ourselves.

我是说，我认为重要的是：我们的指责伤害了和他人的关系，让我们沮丧、不开心。我们可以解决这事儿，更开心，更爱他人以及自爱。