大作文修改片段

First, it is obvious that the aim of receiving higher education for most of people is to obtain specific knowledge and skills, which can enable them to become qualified employees in the future job market. This is due to the fact that it is quite difficult for graduates to secure a handsomely paid and suitable job when we live in the society with fierce competition. 改后Obviously, most of students or family invest* to receive higher education in order to become qualified employees in the future job market with specific knowledge and skills, but it is quite difficult for graduates to secure a handsomely paid* and suitable job as the society they are about to face is loaded with fierce competitions. 修改说明1 把要表达的内容逻辑关系理清；1 1 重点突出—— aim 后面是 to obtain， 然后又 to become ... 哪个是真正的目的？1 2 句子之间的关系到底是什么？（因果还是转折？哪个更有说明力，更简洁？）2 简化表述——重写的这段的冲动完全来自于“This is due to the fact that”这个臃肿却又拥趸甚众的表达。3 修辞——大部分只是调换下顺序，调整下逻辑，加的词只有两个：invest；load3 1 invest 是为了和后面的handsomely paid 照应，这样前后有一个“场”在，才能让本来那个handsomely paid 显得不单薄，不显摆；而且因为用了这个词，主语也加了family。3 2 loaded 的使用将原来的后置定语变为谓语部分，增强了语义，是为了突出前面的difficult。