2018.7.28雅思写作解析(犯罪+教育)

本推文是在动车上通过手机操作，主要想第一时间为大家送上解析，如有疏漏，欢迎指正！

Topic:Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

本题属于复合类话题“犯罪+教育”；下面我们来学习一篇考官带来的“犯罪+教育”的复合类满分文。

思路分析：

观点题，不同于讨论题，容易写高分的往往是一边倒且具有强烈说服力的观点，正论加驳论一鼓作气征服考官。

题目问让改过自新的犯人教青少年犯罪的危险是否是最好的办法，东西方考生立论差别会很大，因为在西方国家很多学校确实是在这么做的，而在中国是绝对不会采用这种方法的。

如果选择不同意，中国考生会根据思维惯性说这些罪犯有案底不可信任反而会带坏学生之类，但是题目已经限定了become good citizens这个条件，立论会很困难。

反之选择赞同，观点很好找，因为这些人的亲身经历更有说服力；所以考官果断选择了坚决同意，主体段先强调自己观点，再用典型的驳论文写法否定其它方法，最后得出这就是最好的方法，全文一气呵成，论证强劲有力，非常值得大家学习。

参考范文1：

It is true that ex-prisoners can become normal, productive members of society. （同义替换题目的限定条件）I completely agree with the idea that allowing （动名词主语好用）such people to speak to teenagers about their experiences is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law（完美替换dangers of committing a crime）.

In my opinion, teenagers are more likely to accept（likely是极好用的立论词） advice from someone who can speak from experience（地道搭配）. Reformed offenders（展示词汇多样，全篇最关键的两个同义替换词） can tell young people about how they became involved in crime, the dangers of a criminal lifestyle, and what life in prison is really like（包含多个名词性宾语从句的宾语并列，是展示复杂句使用能力的最简单方法）. They（注意指代） can also dispel（“驱散”，高分词） any ideas that teenagers may have about criminals leading glamorous lives（伴随状语，地道词汇搭配）. While adolescents（“青少年”，高分词） are often indifferent to（“漠不关心”） the guidance given by older people, I imagine that（缺少论据时用主观想象假设和补充） most of them would be extremely keen（“热切渴望的”） to hear the stories of an ex-offender. The vivid and perhaps shocking（定语并列加副词修饰）nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact.

The alternatives to using （注意这里不是不定式to do，语法搭配准确）reformed criminals to educate teenagers about crime would be（全段注意虚拟语气）much less effective. One option would be for police officers to visit （经典for sb. to do sth.）schools and talk to young people. This could be useful in terms of (连接到位) informing teens about what happens to lawbreakers when they are caught, but young people are often reluctant to （常见高分词）take advice from figures of authority（地道搭配）. A secondoption would be for school teachers to speak to their students about crime, but I doubt that（考官表达观点很直接，没有用任何拐弯抹角的方法）students wouldsee teachers ascredible sources of information（词汇搭配准确）about this topic. Finally（三层论点有序推进）, educational films might be informative（常见高分词）, but there would be no opportunity for young people to interact and ask questions (偶尔来一句“there be + 抽象概念”让句式更加多样).

In conclusion, I fully support （结尾总结观点语气要强烈坚定）the view that people who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence （连续用地道搭配同义替换题目信息）could help to deter teenagers from committing crimes（再次替换开头的discourage…from breaking the law；满分文章开头和结尾永远有完美的同义替换，意思一样但长相完全不同）.

参考范文2：

A child‘s education has never been about learning information and basic skills only. It has always included teaching the next generation how to become law-abiding citizens. While some people claim that those ex-prisoners are the best teachers to raise the awareness regarding laws, I believe that other measures are equally effective.

Obviously, ex-prisoners play a vital role in cutting youth crime. This is because those released prisoners have witnessed the horrors happened in the jail and they may also experience some of them. At the same time， they can share the tears and sorrows they suffered in the jails and the harm they have brought to the victims and their family members. This is more impressivethan the traditional lectures given by professors. By listening to a wide range of real cases in person, young generation will realise the consequence of the irresponsible behaviour deeply and discipline themselves strictly in the future.

Nevertheless, I believe other alternatives should be taken into consideration as well. It is common for people to have a fear towards criminals, especially those who have committed violent crimes and therefore face-to-face conversation between the young and people with a criminal record might be inappropriate in some cases. By contrast， policemen normally have a good impression among youngsters and they can become the active voice in reducing juvenile delinquency. Apart from them, parents can certainly be the first to help children learn the differences between right and wrong since they are the people who know their children best in the world.

In my opinion, it is the responsibility of every member of a society to help the young generation to become good citizens.

最后，祝大家顺利通过考试，期待你们的好消息！